All music and lyrics copyright by David Collacott unless otherwise noted.

spiritual stupidity
words and music by David Collacott
ending inspired by Eric Clapton's "Tears In Heaven"

I just don't get it
I just don't understand
I just don't get it
not able to apprehend
I just don't get it
do you see where I'm at?
I just don't get it
some intelligence I lack

you tell me to hear the voice
you're saying that it's my choice
it's easy, I'm made for this
just gotta take the leap into your abyss

it's time to overcome antagonism
and reject my syllogism
it's simply obvious for all to see
the truth will set me free

spiritual stupidity
I don't know what I cannot see but
now I know I might be blind

spiritual stupidity
I can't see what's in your mind
don't tell me you can see in mine

your words just make me more confused
the terms you use makes the perplexity more profuse
or maybe I'm just mentally abused
so many people 'round the world get it -- why can't I?
maybe I'm just missing my third eye
or 'cuz I don't know how to try

try, if you still have the energy, to force it in my brain
or whatever part of me can understand what you explain
eventually I hope I find my mistake
but this is getting really tiring for now
give me a break!

spiritual stupidity
lacking the capacity to
contemplate what's undefined

spiritual stupidity
my spirit simply went AWOL
so please come back another time

would you think I'm insane
if you saw me in Heaven?
I just might be insane
but I'm way too lazy to be crazy
yeah, I would not be the same in Heaven

comfortably dumb
words and music by David Collacott

it's hopeless, and the world is gone
like a million times before
I still don't feel like I belong
in first place of the human race
and I don't really care

are you comfortable, and dumb like me?
do you understand life?
can you believe?
have you tried and given up?
or do you really care?

wow it's crazy what people learn today
to establish their career
or just to pass their day
why not just be blithely unaware?

I'm comfortable and I'm dumb
that's just the way I am
I might not change society
but so what -- life's just one big sham
(but hey, life's just one big sham)

Do you see the relevance?
or suffer from abject insouciance?
why not come and just be dumb with me?
Yeah.

did you hear about the conspiracy?
the government is after you and me
they wanna take away
our freedoms and our liberties

does look like I really care
if they install video cameras in my underwear
while secret service agents sit there and just stare?

I'm happy just to laugh and play
and pay my bills from day to day
ignore my future and reminders
of my certain death

'cuz I'm immortal 'til my final breath

I'm comfortably dumb
yeah yeah yeah!

I used to be a poseur
words and music by David Collacott

I used to be a poseur
I used to wanna be
a skater gangster rap MC

dressed up like a clown
just to go to school
everyone knew that I was just a fool

and now I've learnt my lesson well
that poseurs all go straight to Hell

I used to be a poseur but now I don't do shit
if you are just like me then stop trying 'cuz you'll never fit
the last thing that this world needs is another poseur
just like you

I wanna be a wigger
I wanna be Chinese
be something I'm not, with extra cheese

walk and talk like them
dress in clothes like them
sing at karaoke bars like them

now when the challenge calls me
I just go run and hide
'cuz I know who I am and anything else is poseur suicide

my identity is carved in stone

mediocre man
words and music by David Collacott

back... once again
to the middle, to the center of the scale
not quite fail the test
you're looking at me like I'm not that sharp

it's dull, yea to be, so
unremarkable you told me
face it you're just one more average joe

where's my gift? where's my present?
why's my message lacking content?
my brain is getting slower
while time is speeding faster

success and failure -- both are out of reach
mediocre like a hostless leech

I've covered half of all the bases
figured out half of everything
I'm half conscious in the waking world
always half ready to begin
pusillanimous and nothing to gain
from an indifferent focus I'm too restrained
to take things to another level
I'm stuck in limbo it's all in vain

you... you just laugh
at the prospect of me finding my edge
that... creates spite but filtered
generates propensity to

march... one more step
one more desperate attempt at finding
you... all so wrong
so completely wrong

half way there is the same as nothing
I guffaw at the thought of
re-establishing my outrageous
goal of conquering the world

I'm the mighty mediocre man

slow
words and music by David Collacott

There's something in my brain
that's slowing everything down
there's something in the air
that doesn't make a sound

it's dulling all my senses,
it's choking up my lungs
it's super fucking boredom
and it's only just begun

Slow... today is fucking slow
Slow... today is fucking slow

Maybe it's me, the lethargy
I can't take this shit no more

The voices in my head
aren't talking to me
they're bored out of my skull
consistently

if you got a moment
of your precious time
help me get me through this day,
make it go away

Thong Song
original music and lyrics written by Sisqó
new arrangement by David Collacott

ooo da dress so scandalous
and i know anotha wigga couldn't handle it
see shakin dat thang like who da ish
with a look in yur eye so devilish
uh she like to dance at all the hip hop spots
then cruise through the crews like connect da dots
not just urban she likes the pop cause
she's livin la vida loca

She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck
thighs like wha, wha, wha
baby move ya butt, butt, butt
i think i'll sing it again
she had dumps like a truck, truck, truck
thighs like wha, wha, wha
all night long, let me see that thong

i like it when da beat go [duh duh da duh]
i like it when ya butty go [duh duh da duh]
i kno you really wanna show [duh duh da duh]
that thong tha thong thong thong
i like it when tha beat go [duh duh da duh]
baby make ya booty go [duh duh da duh]
i kno u really wanna show [duh duh da duh]
that thong tha thong thong thong

vacuum
words and music by David Collacott

not talking to you
don't talk to me
not volunteering my dependency
I've got a long way to go from you

wary of the past my intentions are grim
formulate a truce? the chances are slim
it will be a long time before I'm through

being alone is my euphoria
talking to no one is the way I tell ya
there's a whole world you will never see
(there's a whole world for you without me)

don't you feel that it's effective therapy
(don't you feel)
just like taking a walk through a vacuum
(can't you breathe)
the moment away will ease the pain
(like never before)
(I always want more)
but it never seems to last forever

it's hard for you to understand
that's why I'm here to take your hand
to lead you to where I've always called home

when you find yourself lost like me
it's hard to make much sense
my frequent retrospective
thoughts deject my benevolence

so what am I going to do?
what am I going to say?
where will I play?
these questions plague me every day
so leave me by myself so I can answer them
all alone all alone

feeding the dementia
words and music by David Collacott

just once, listen to me:
I'm saying you're pathetic,
and I'm going to regret it
take a break, I'm going away,
not going to stay a second more

I'll go ahead and stab myself
a sacrifice to release the guilt
a stupid price to pay is to have you stay

yeah right, it's not what I wanna feel
yeah right, it's not what I wanna say
yeah right, it's not what I wanna do
yeah right, it's not what I want

and now it feels like I'm just feeding my dementia
and now it feels like I'm just playing your game
and now it feels like I'm just feeding your dementia
and now it feels like that it's all the same

improbable, unresolvable
unbelievable, but deceivable
it's not what I want to say
but I'll say it anyway

the hunger kills me
words and music by David Collacott

lost in limbo
this life ain't no disco
as an undercurrent pulls me lower
into the darkest depths of fantasy

what about my insanity?
it's better than your reality
now only if I could tap the source

the temperamental road ahead
shifts with every crooked bend
I still can't tell Heaven from Hell
I still can't hear the ringing bell
calling me for lunch
the hunger kills me

I'm waiting
waiting for that moment to arrive
I'm saving
saving my breath for when I'm truly alive

on the edge of discovery
the yearning's elementary
the potential for everything to be what I want it to be

but will these things come true?
it depends on me, it depends on you
and if it doesn't then I'm through

dirtbag
words and original music by Brad
new arrangement by David Collacott

it’s a little bit hard to understand
but i only wanna be a modern man
on the wire it couldn’t be nicer
just thinking about the one that got away
nobody wanna give my heart away
you could make your mind up it could take your time up

it seems you’ve mistaken me for someone who cares
i’m just a dirt bag under the weather and overrated

living underground taking it to the scene
making money not knowing what it means
i’m a liar set shit on fire
take your time talking down to all your friends
living with the little dogs and elephants
it’s hard to find it but i don’t mind it

hitching a ride with the bugs and the flies and i’m on my own

epistemological retardedness
words and music by David Collacott

what is right and what is wrong?
why did I write this stupid song?
expression is a privilege
turned by me into sacrilege

stupid me, stupid you
I think I'll go sniff some glue
don't enlighten me with the details
I'll just buy your frigging book retail

Is Tertullian full of shit?
can you really know, you're not infinite!
if your brain is so inadequate
then from where springs forth your confidence?

the principal of uncertainty
rules the world of you and me
if the truth is absolute
then you can kick my ass with a steel toed boot!

I sought the answers by pursuing
syllogistically formulated first-year philosophy courses
to capture the essence of knowledge
and other crap like that

I thought I learned the truth
but instead I found that there is no truth
knowledge is elusive like a good night's sleep
and that, my friend, is as elusive as can be

I don't know my problems, I just feel the pain
epistemologically I'm going insane
And your words they mean nothing, nothing to me

"I know because I know" is just not good enough
your unbounded recursion is a spurious/specious bluff
But I still want to get something, something for me

so long, my friend
words and music by David Collacott

I guess I'll see ya later
don't know when that's gonna be
I gotta fix my car, find a place to live
and I'm working late this week

we used to be best of friends but
who knows if we'll ever meet again
it's been a long time since life was free
when time just grew on trees

so long, my friend
we gotta go hang out again
sooner than later would be good
but it will be later than we ever should
as work gets busy and the bills pile up
cities grow bigger and you've had enough
of trying to stay in touch with those you love

you've finished school, where do you go?
where are the jobs? they're far from home
where are your friends? they've gone away
there's no time to delay

gotta hit the ground, running fast
leave behind your beloved past
your future will kick your ass
this time may be our last

so long, my friend
things used to be so much better
it's easy to forget the truth
that we let things slip away
but why does it even really matter?
it's just one more chapter
in this story that's one day going to end

so long, my friend
what happened to "friends to the end"?
I guess "responsibility" makes
friendships fade away
maybe MSN or AIM
or MySpace can track all your friends
but how effective is that time you spend?

so long, my friend...